WHAT BEING A MOTHER OF TWO HAS TAUGHT ME...

I've been a mother for almost 7 years now…and I may say that my girls brought a lot of changes within me as a person. The way I think and feel about life and the future is totally different now. It’s not just about me. My girls became my focus and admittedly, there are times when I can’t believe how much motherhood changed my priorities and interests! But honestly, I consider being a mother as the best thing that happened to me (aside from finding the most loving & loyal husband of course)! It taught me how to take pleasures in simple things…and that, I realized is something really awesome! Here are, in no particular order, some of the other most relevant things that being a mother has taught me…

1. God’s goodness can easily be seen in ordinary things like seeing your kids wake up healthy and happy each day.

2. Kids just know how to bring their parents on the verge of explosion so patience is the most effective tool every mother or parent needs.

3.Simple smiles, cuddles, hugs & kisses can be so precious! They truly can warm your heart and light up your day.

4.Being a mother doesn’t mean I can have control over everything. To guide rather than force is the best motherhood technique that every mother should master. I cannot make my children into children they are not. I can only help them be their best and be happy with what they’re doing and guide them in finding their way in the world.

5.You can be up all night with your sick child and still be able to deliver a good presentation to your boss, and still be at your best the whole day.

6. In the eyes of a child, walls are a great canvas for their artworks, so beware of permanent markers because they are really permanent! :-D

7. Having children will deepen you & your husband’s commitment to and for each other, because as parents, you will share everything about them. You could never look at your children without being grateful to your husband for helping you bring those wonderful children into this world!

8. To be a mother means being responsible for the life of another person and it truly is not easy but I believe it is the most rewarding job and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

9. It’s only in having your own children that you will feel what your mother really felt years ago and everyday, you will realize that you’re like her in so many ways whether you enjoy the thought of it or not.

10. One of the qualities you would want to pass on to your children is self love and acceptance – to be able to do that, you must have it first. So acceptance of who you are as a person, a woman, a wife, a mother, a sister or a daughter is a must! You should be happy with who you are.

11. Nothing compares to the fulfillment you feel in seeing your children succeed in things they love doing and in knowing that they grow into values and morals that a parent can truly be proud of.

12. A mother spends so much time doing things for everyone else that sometimes, she forgets to do things for herself. The world will not end if you give yourself 15, 20, 30 minutes or even a couple of hours! Get a bubble bath, a facial, go tanning, go shopping, get a massage, paint your toenails…do whatever you enjoy doing! If you do not take the time to care for yourself you can't be effective in caring for anyone else.

13. Having children means not having a spotless home. Don’t be disappointed to see toys here and there - Kids should be allowed to play with their toys! If your children decide to write on the walls, don't fret. Once your children are grown up and out on their own, you will have plenty of time to clean and keep a perfect house.

14. You should embrace every moment in your kid’s life - they grow up way too fast. You only walk this road once and if you don't stop to enjoy the moment then you miss out on so much.The time you spend with your children playing, talking, reading is what will matter most to them. They will not care about your college degree, how many hours you spent at work, how you look, or how big of a house you live in. All they will care about is that you were there for them…you listened…you understood…and you loved them, their imperfections and all.

July 19 --- A DAY I WILL NEVER FORGET...

Losing someone we really love is very painful — and though I always knew that it’s something all of us will experience at some point in our lives, I never realized how hard it would be for me to lose my mother. It has been almost a year since my mother passed away but everything still seems so fresh in my mind…from the day my father told me that she would be admitted to the hospital for a complete check-up, which led to the diagnosis of her stage IV gastric cancer, up to the time she left…

The passing away of my mother in July 19, 2007 is really heartbreaking for my whole family. Though it may seem like a blessing because it ended her pain, losing a loving & kindhearted mother --- a wonderful woman who touched every life she came in contact with, is truly a grave loss for us. Personally, losing her meant losing not just my mother but my best friend --- my greatest phone pal…my best shopping & movie buddy…the only person who knows me inside out…the only woman I’m most comfortable to confide to...the only friend who accepts me and keeps on loving me despite all my flaws…the woman I owe my life to…the wind beneath my wings.

Even though, I can say that I had several months to prepare myself for her death, it is still not easy for me to accept that she’s gone. She was diagnosed with gastric cancer in January 12, 2007…and was given 6-7 months to live. My father & I went through surgery, faith healing sessions, several blood transfusions, chemotherapy and other treatments with her until she finally became bedridden and her condition depleted. We had picked out her gravesite and told her all about it. I picked out what she would wear for her final resting place. We had her receive the last sacrament. And we thought all of these would help us because we were doing what she wanted us to do…to let her go because she’s ready. But when it was time, I didn't want to say goodbye…and I realized that no matter how much I prepared for it, it just wasn’t enough! She passed away 7 months & 7 days after the diagnosis….and even though I’ve been through a lot of pain during her fight with cancer, I wish she could stay longer. I knew deep inside me that if I were to choose, I would prefer being in that difficult situation of taking care of her over & over again rather than not having her at all. But I know that it’s being selfish & inconsiderate, because I’ve seen her suffer & I know that she didn’t deserve it.

Losing someone who has always been there, cheering me up, looking out for me and being an on tap source of experience, is a big deal. Every memory I’ve ever had growing up has her in it. A lot has happened in my life during the past 12 months after her death that I want to talk to her about and I still can’t fully believe that I can no longer do it. I just couldn’t grasp that she’s gone…it’s as though my brain just wouldn’t accept that she’s gone forever. But I thank God for allowing me to be with her all throughout her battle. The thought that somehow, I was able to repay her for all the loving care she gave me consoles me a little. Even though I know that being able to take care of her for just 6 months is nothing compared to the many years she devoted in taking care of me, I find it a little comforting to know that at least, I had the chance to show her that I love her so much and I’m willing to be with her in all her pain.

July 19 is a day I will never forget. Years may pass…but I know that I will always be hurting. Though I believe that I should accept things as they are because there’s a season for everything and her season is over, it’s just too hard to accept that I’m here without her. I know that it actually will never get any easier with time – I will carry the pain and burden of losing my mother for the rest of my life. I will always grieve as time passes and holidays and special occasions come and go. The only thing that will change is maybe someday, I’ll get used to it…but for now, I really can’t say when it will come, so I’ll just take comfort in her love and memories and let it be the balm to help me heal…